January 2012
1 post
The Inventor
Here’s the start to a story I wrote about time travel. I wanted to write a story that could rival LOST when it came to twists and turns, but had explanations that added to the story instead of just answering them to shut people up. Let me know what you think. Thanks for editing this Chase! The story follows David Casio, the inventor of time...
December 2011
5 posts
Rap I can relate to
Forget you man you’re easy, I’m hot and you’re freezing, Calm and collected? Nah, you’re control-alt-deleting, Control-A, backspace, let’s try this again, The page won’t even go down on you my friend, Our history? Deleted. Our hatred? Freshly seeded. Upload that pic of you raging, I got to retweet it…
Poll the audience
cockenblog:
jess-agi:
Kelsi and I have an important debate: is it weird or not weird to read a book alone at a bar? How about to instead sit alone w/no activity?
If you’re drinking wine and reading (preferably red), you’re an introspective babe.
If you’re drinking whiskey and reading, you’re a tortured badass.
If you’re drinking anything else, I assume you’re just hanging around the bar...
“If you see a comedy writer who’s not wearing a hoodie, or doesn’t have a bunch...”
– Mindy Kaling (via caseyj)
So THAT’S what I’m doing wrong…I’m glad I can finally take this thing off…so constricting!
November 2011
1 post
October 2011
6 posts
Halloween Costume Ideas
I have narrowed it down to two. Help me decide!
1. Stagehand: A friend of mine and I dress up in all black and carry a piece of furniture, preferably a small table, in and out of rooms.
2. Hypocritical Protestor: Carry around a sign that reads, “Halloween props are immoral!”
3 tags
Script for Bob Benson's Hyundai Commercial
“Hey, this is Big Bob from Bob Benson’s Hyundai and do we have a deal for you! Love red cars? No? Well how about blue cars? Still no?! Perfect! I bet our silver selection will do the trick! Hate it? So do I! Yellow? Green? Black? All ugly, you say! Well, aren’t you lucky that the color won’t matter when you feel the leather underneath your bottom! Allergic to leather? Then...
September 2011
2 posts
August 2011
4 posts
Sam Reich: I forgot to return Streeter's fan to... →
streeter:
This is shocking.
Five years ago I walked into Ricky’s office and said, “you know who would be good to do our videos, Sam Reich.” I vouched for you and up until this morning I had always been deeply proud to have had such foresight in recommending a man I believed to be a talented straight…
Don’t touch my desk fan
True story: When I lived with Streeter, I was sitting with him...
1 tag
Not Much...
If I could have one wish, I think I would choose to be able to articulate my feelings. My last summer off has come to a screeching halt and soon I will be asked by my classmates what I did. They’ll tell me how they followed doctors, viewed surgeries, learned how to suture, etc…All things that I will do in time. But, then the conversation will turn to me and I will unthinkingly...
July 2011
5 posts
Dan Harmon: Things They Might Never Tell You 001 →
benjoseph:
danharmon:
The person you are actually capable of loving will always be out of your league, and everybody in your league will either stop loving you or stop being loved by you. In other words:
Love is not a real thing. It’s an itch you can’t scratch. It’s greener grass. It’s a mirage. In reality, we huddle together, or we stand alone, and in either case, we will always have to...
Watchjohnzanussi:
Ron Swanson loves food.
June 2011
5 posts
I apologize
willschneider:
for the lies regarding my feline. For 8 months I have referred to fogey as “my cat”. This is terribly false. Fogey actually belongs to my beautiful girlfriend, Cara, and myself. We love him equally, and he probably loves her a little more. Joking aside, he’s our cat. I, Will, just wanted to clarify this.
Resign. I can’t trust you anymore…
Toby: Part 1
Toby was a good kid. He never made much trouble for his mom or dad. He was always in bed on time and rarely stole chocolate ice cream bars from his neighbor’s house.
Toby was an exceptional athlete. He was the best at one man tennis, amazing at one man baseball, and a remarkable one man tag player.
He was a boy who needed a brother, but 60-hour work weeks for his parents stopped those...
May 2011
3 posts
Something Interesting Found While Studying #2
Oxytocin is the hormone that stimulates milk ejection from the lactating breast. Classically, we know that this hormone is secreted due to the “suckling stimulus.” Basically, when a baby sucks on the mother’s nipple, milk gets ejected. However, the secretion of this hormone can also be stimulated solely by the mother’s sighting of an infant…
Couldn’t this...
Something Interesting Found While Studying
Stockholm Syndrome doesn’t occur in every hostage or abusive situation. In another bank robbery involving hostages, after terrorizing patrons and employees for many hours, a police sharpshooter shot and wounded the terrorizing bank robber. After he hit the floor, two women picked him up and physically held him up to the window for another shot.
If you are interested…
April 2011
2 posts
Kevin Corrigan is a funny guy
I was browsing CollegeHumor when I stumbled upon Kevin Corrigan’s about me. Funniest thing I’ve read in awhile.
“I’m just an average joe. I wake up every morning, eat a bowl of cereal and go to work. I usually get in around 10 o’clock, check my e-mails and have a bowl of cereal. At 12 o’clock I go to lunch and eat another bowl of cereal. My...
March 2011
1 post
February 2011
1 post
I did it!
I did something that I never thought I was going to be able to do in my lifetime. I was able to finish the entire LOST series without having any piece of it ruined by the MILLIONS of people out there just waiting to spoil it for me. It took a lot of dedication, a lot of patience, and a whole lot of closing my ears and running away, but in the end I am glad that I did it. Watching the show on...
November 2010
1 post
September 2010
3 posts
Things Ashley Says: Issue 1
(My girlfriend and I are talking on gchat)
Me: Alright, it’s about time for me to go study.
Ashley: Alright, bye! GLHF!
Me: Ashley…do you know what glhf means?
Ashley: Good luck, high five!
I’m dating a noob…
August 2010
2 posts
Carn-evil
The administrators told our class that each year the new med students get to choose a gift to be placed in the student lounge. Past years have chosen things like sinks, refrigerators, couches, tvs, microwaves, and other pointless stuff. As any other self-respecting mid-westerner would do, I made a suggestion of adding a funnel-cake maker…of course, followers came by the dozens...
Notes After Taking a Few Comprehensive Medical...
1. When seeing if the patient has any additional illnesses, don’t ask, “So do you have any other weird diseases like diabetes or hypertension?”
2. When asking about the patient’s mood, don’t say, “Really?” after they state that they don’t have depression.
3. Sanitize your hands before shaking the patient’s hand. If you do it the other...
July 2010
5 posts
June 2010
2 posts
May 2010
2 posts
thesincerestform:
1979 - Rob Thomas (Smashing...